Have you ever been told to stop being someone/ something you’re not? A few 100 times, if you are a normal human being I assure you. So, should you really give a heed to this question? Let’s get this out in the open – Everyone is almost always trying to be something they are not and it is perfectly normal. If you are human, you are able to observe, analyse and take action in order to modify behaviour in accordance with your environment. But, let’s say you are a desk in the corner of my room, you are well within your rights to call me crazy if I nagged you about trying to be something you’re not. Inanimate things stay exactly the way they are until human intervention. So, by this logic, it’s ok to try to be something you’re not.
If this phenomenon is so natural, why are we constantly told to stop trying? While all of us are constantly trying to be something we’re not, some of us are good at this exercise while some others not so much. It is this failure to successfully achieve the desired state (of improvement, mostly) that gets played out as “unnatural” to the people who can almost naturally pull off metamorphosis! You can observe the “somewhat stable” individuals advising the “somewhat unstable” individuals to stop trying. In order to explain these two conditions, let’s assume that life is plain vanilla and imagine this to be a binary state where 0 is what you are currently and 1 is what you want to be. For instance, if you are trying to be a person who wants to stop biting his/ her nails, then you’re considered stable if you manage to pull this off and sustain it (FOREVER), else, you are unstable.
Given that unstable individuals already suffer from high frequency of fluctuations, unsolicited advice from more stable individuals is very discomforting since this only further catalyses the fluctuations. The next time around, if you see someone trying really hard to be something they’re not (which is probably for a good cause), stop trying to stop them, instead offer a penny or two on how their trial can be inched towards success if you have any ideas on that!