In one of our recent NED talks, we had one of the speakers make a compelling argument (backed with data and all) about why you should hit of the hottest woman in a room. Now, why would any guy not do that you may wonder. Here are a few disclaimers before I explain why. Yes, I do believe beauty does lie in the beauty of the beholder and who I find pretty might not be pretty to you and vice versa. So, here I’m talking about a case of beauty where a majority of the beholders would concur with. Sure, outliers/ exceptions exist but, I am not talking about that here. So, stay with me.
If beauty follows a normal distribution like most things in this world, then there are only handful of good looking women out there and in all likelihood, they’re all probably in the right profession (models, actors, etc) leaving very few for us common people to hit on, which makes them a scare resource in high demand. But is this reason enough for us to be scared to approach them? Say you’re an averagely good looking guy who wants to hit on the hottest girl in the room, you would dare not hit on this girl because of the following two reasons –
- You are not as hot as her for her to appreciate your beauty/ hotness/ charm/ call it whatever for you to catch her attention.
- She already has enough sleezy men hitting on her, even if you weren’t, how would she know because the probability she’s got something else apart from beauty that you have got significantly more of, to catch her attention with is very very low.
Let me explain this with an example.. Imagine you are a really intelligent guy and the only way you know how to impress anyone is with your IQ. If she’s got the IQ of a door nail, you could solve a second degree differential equation in 10 seconds but she wouldn’t batter an eyelid if she didn’t care about her own IQ. On the other hand, if she had a crazy stamp collecting fetish and you had a stamp she really wanted, she’d probably trade it for her love. But what’s the likelihood of you figuring this out and also being prepared for it? Miniscule. On the contrary, this explains why nerd boys sometimes get bimbos (the types who are insecure about their intelligence).
This is true of any personality trait really, and not just beauty. This is why you wouldn’t hit on the smartest person or the most talkative or any superlative for that matter.