Gone are the days when our society purely relied on a trusted middleman or relative to perform due diligence on a prospective marriage alliance. This is 2016 and even my grandmother is on Facebook. So, whenever we receive the “biodata” of a prospective alliance, the first thing anyone (boy, girl, mother, father, auntie, uncle whoever) does is to stalk this person on the internet. One’s online social presence is just paramount in today’s marriage market. So, if you haven’t yet paid heed to this, it’s time you go back to your Facebook profile and check if this is the reason you aren’t doing too well in the marriage market. As a dutiful auntie, I list the top 5 things on your Facebook profile that could be ruining your chances of getting married –
One of the big failures of orkut that gave way to Facebook monopoly was privacy settings. Given that Facebook actually enables selective display of information, its our duty to use this feature. If you don’t want someone to see ancient pictures of your chubby days with bushy eyebrows, keep that private. Winning a panipuri eating contest is great, but a potential spouse need not see your mouth stuffed with 20 puris, so you might want to keep that private as well.
A bad profile picture
Now, this has nothing to do with looks. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and hence, we can condition the way people see us. If you don’t have your own picture as a profile picture and instead, choose to have the picture of an actor or sportsperson you love, you will be perceived as an imposter (besides the fact that its just plain weird). If you have a picture with a friend of the same gender, who is more attractive, it’s going to be hard for anyone to see how attractive you are. Now, if you think you aren’t attractive at all, this move would be social suicide. If you have a group picture, people would have to spend a few years trying to figure out which one of them is you. And, the list goes on.
A wall full of gaming updates
There was a time when updates of Farmville and the likes flooded everyone’s timeline and probably, people didn’t judge each other much. But, that stuff is old and so are you. If are found begging for seeds or lives on Facebook, while you could be out doing more productive stuff in life, then you will be perceived as someone without a life. Nobody wants to marry a gaming addict (I know real gamers would hardly consider candy crush type of games as gaming)!
Compulsive video sharing
There’s a lot of content available on Facebook that is genuinely interesting or funny and so, it’s okay to watch such videos, enjoy them and forget about them. While you might grow up and not find a video interesting anymore, remember that it stays on your wall forever and people can actually scroll way back and look it up. It is not cool to share every single video you watch because people judge you for the content you share.
Being tagged on random forwards
If you have weird friends who tag you on random forwards, its your duty to untag yourself so shady stuff doesn’t appear on your timeline. For instance, you could be an atheist but you might have been tagged on “Send this message to 50 people in 10 seconds else Baba will curse you” type stuff, and this would send an entirely wrong message to someone who stalks you for matrimonial due diligence purposes.
In the arranged marriage market, everyone judges everyone else. But the key is to be able to defer being judged as much as possible because it gives us a chance to learn about our potential spouse at our own pace before being judged inaccurately. If the first step in the process is being stalked mercilessly on the internet, curating the content allows us to take control of how we are perceived and set the pace for the process.
I hope some of these hacks will prove useful in making you more marriage market ready. If you have found any other big no nos on Facebook about a tharkari, I’d love to know. Post them below in the comments.