Letters to my Berry#24

Berry, I am sorry that I have taken so long to write this special edition of you turning two. It’s been really hard for me to come back to this blog since my last post. Everytime, I come to my blog to write, seeing the picture with Mani aunty leaves me a bit empty and I can’t muster enough will to write. So, yeah, “Manty” passed away a few weeks before you turned two. And I have no idea how, but you seem to know that she is not around. Every time I ask you where Manty is, you promptly say “Manty gone!”. I don’t know if it’s because you’ve understood what we’ve said in the past or if you know things that we don’t quite comprehend. Or may be you are growing up? Well, you sure are. You turned two last week, love.

This means you are no longer an infant and you will finally get your own seat on an aeroplane. But it also means we become the victims of your “terrible twos”. I never quite understood what that meant until recently a colleague explained it to me. Its when you just keep saying “No” to everything we ask of you, kind of like how teenagers act. So, by that definition, you are complying fairly well to the terrible twos. You are gnawing at a ballon right now and I am yelling/ begging you to stop but you go on without listening. I guess, I’ll just give up already and not even bother saying no unless you are putting yourself in real physical danger. But that’s going to be hard because everything seems like danger to mothers, no?

I like how my life has changed so irreversibly after you were born and all I can do is close my eyes for a split second and pretend like I am not where I am, or may be not even because that’s all you really need to bring the sky down. So proud of you, my little champ. Lol (or do I mean, sigh?). Anyway, because appa and I are not big kids’ birthday party fans, we decided to keep it really simple and take you to the zoo, once again. We were hoping that you’ll enjoy the zoo much more this time around given that you know all the animals from the pictures. What we quickly realised is that you found pictures in the zoo more fascinating than the real animals. May be kids these days just don’t get “Real life”?

We bought you so many toys including a black board, a playkitchen, etc. and you also got presents from Barbie, ajji and thatha but you seemed to get over all of them quite quickly. So I decided we shouldn’t buy you any more things because you seem to have enough and more to keep you occupied for the next year or two. Appa got you a toy car that you like to play with, but I am not sure how long that interest will last. But day by day you are growing up into a full person with a personality of your own. You like being talked to, being negotiated with and that’s why you get so upset when we force a decision on you.

Growing up, I don’t ever remember being allowed to have a personality. So, I am sometimes curious to see what it would be like to “let” you have one as it is not something innate for an average Indian parent. You decide what you want to wear, what you want to eat, where you want to go, etc. and it’s very cute to watch. I am sure 10 years from now I might not find it so cute, but let’s see. Have I ever mentioned that you are apparently very popular in your nursery? This has been the case even in your previous  nursery. I think you have taken after Avva who is exactly like this. You enjoy playing with kids older than you and you have a way to make them enjoy your company too, which is is very cool because I don’t quite understand these things.

You speak pretty well now, or may be you did for a while but I seem to understand most of what you say now. You speak both Kannada and English. You have a little bit of an accent, which is what makes it slightly hard to understand you and hence, I try to speak to you in English so you don’t feel like we aren’t trying to understand you. Appa hates it when I speak to you in English because he worries that he’ll never understand what you say. He already thinks we hang up against him when I try to teach you alphabets, letters or countries, and so, he calls me a “tiger mum”. I think it’s a little unfair because that’s my way of spending time with you and I feel a bit judged, especially when appa likes to joke about it with others.

I recently learnt that you enjoy making play doh figures, so I’ll do that with you going forward and hopefully that’ll be sticking to my perceived “dumb papa” domain and that wouldn’t irk appa too much. I sometimes like to show you what I am cooking and explain every step to you and that’s my way of making conversation. I like to involve you in the cooking by asking you to bring me ingredients that are within your reach. You feel very responsible and important and that’s so important to your personality development because we all like the feeling of being needed. Remember that I am doing this to let you know how good it feels to help someone so that you will find your joy in giving as you grow up.

You are growing up to be a good kid (so far!) and I hope that continues.From now onwards, I’ll write you a bi-annual/ annual letter only unless you something very spectacular happens. For now, God bless Berry ma. Happy 2nd!

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