How smart phones have made my parents teenagers

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As usual I’ll start with a quick backstory – When I was in 10th grade, I’d called a radio station to request for a song and the radio jockey had told me that I have a very hazy and seductive voice for a 14 year old. I got yelled at by my dad for being told that by a boy on public radio, yada yada yada. A year later, I was recounting the incident to a new classmate in school and he refused to believe that any radio jockey could have told me that and I offered to call him later that evening so he could hear my phone voice. As promised, I call this boy later that evening and I say, “Hey, whats up? What are you upto?” and the boy says “I’m in the toilet”! I say “Yikes, why would you take your phone to the loo, and I’m going to hang up because that’s gross!” Now, 14 years later, I am guilty of doing the same. Ok, no, I am not typing this post on the pot, but just saying.

Every time I am about to poop, I first look for my phone, because I think I won’t be able to do it alone – I need my WhatsApp groups (yeah, next time you add me to a group, think again!), Instagram Explore feeds and so on. It’s absolutely mental how these smart phones have taken over our entire lives. I am from a generation who recognises this is mental and once in a while tries to detox, take social media sabbaticals and may be even go on a phone-free meditation workshops. I don’t know what the younger generations are doing, I guess I’m going to find out as my daughter grows up. But my parents and grandparents’ generation on the other hand, have gone completely reckless like teenagers who’ve found cheap dope.

We were visiting some friends yesterday and they were talking about how their parents, uncles, aunties, etc. have now replaced the post lunch nap with a two hour WhatsApp marathon.  They are basically busy reading all forwards they have received and doing the responsible thing to do as dutiful whatsappers – forward them onto other groups they are a part of. I remember calling my mum from the US every night (when it would be her mornings) and she’d talk to me for a bit and then say she has tonnes to get done before leaving to work and hang up. When I asked her why she couldn’t finish all the work given that she’d wake up at 4:30 am, one of the big agendas for early mornings apart from doing dishes from the previous night, washing the front yard, etc., was reading all the WhatsApp messages and deleting them. Yes, you read that right, deleting WhatsApp messages is a thing amongst these uncles and aunties.

For starters, most people don’t exactly know that you can disable auto download of media onto your phones, which means you are bound to run out of space on your phone. Now, once you enlighten people about this feature, they are faced with a bigger dilemma, “I don’t always have the time to see all videos/ photos immediately, and so I may forget to download them. Also, it takes longer to download one by one for assessment.” All very fair reasons, but my response to that would be – “It’s a WhatsApp forward for god’s sake, why are you wasting your time on it, get a life!!!” My mum’s poker faced response to that would be – “Some are very important messages and are quite useful, I don’t always have the time to go looking for it on the internet”. This is usually when I give up and spend time backing up all these photos and videos onto google photos so they can move on with their lives.

I remember my parents would keep nagging us about being on our phones back in the early 2000s, and now, our roles are reversed. We are probably the first generation that is seeing our parents act like teenagers even before they fully grow old. I’ve heard/ seen that people start behaving like babies as they grow older, start to become dependent on children for being taken care off, but acting like teenagers in their 50s? Swalpa new this is for us I would say. I remember being in a team meeting a couple of years ago when I lived in Barcelona, and my mum texted me around 7pm (10:30pm IST) asking me to call her back.

The last time I’d got a message like that from my mum was when my dad was suddenly admitted to the ICU a couple of days after I’d moved to Barcelona, so you can imagine my anxiety. I immediately excused myself from my team meeting to run out to make a call and my mum picks up the phone within one ring, and says “Pinky, I can’t find the folder with all the photos I’ve downloaded from Facebook on my phone, how do I find it”. I couldn’t figure out if I was relieved to find out that everyone back home was well, or if I was amused to see what kept my mum up at night. It was the first time I was living in a different country, and I was still living with some age old ideas about what was a late night trunk call worthy news.

While we all exchange amusing stories about our respective parents and their revelations with technology, I think it is absolutely amazing that my parents’ generation have a way to keep their social lives active, even if it were just virtual because growing up, I remember wondering why my parents didn’t have a lot of friends (to be fair, as a parent myself, I now understand how hard it is to keep an active social life while juggling full-time jobs and children, and I am sure my parents did their best). I also think it’s amazing that I can see my granny every other weekend even though we live miles apart and that my entire family back home can see Berry grow up.

While technology enables me to feel at home while staying away, I do hope someday in the near future, we can just take our virtual communities from WhatsApp and recreate those into real physical communities, and restore the past. Growing up, my mum would always say that history repeats itself and what was fashionable in the past would become fashionable in the future again, and for once, I really hope that comes true.

 

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Letters to my Berry#14

IMG_9037You turned 14 months 3 days ago, but given that things have been mental at work this month and will continue to be until the end of this year, I am only getting around to writing to you now. But hey, you are 1.16 now. Woohoo. As you can see from the picture above, you are scaling new heights, quite literally – you managed to climb onto the chair and stand up on it all by yourself. You also wake up, get off the bed quietly and come to the living room like a big girl. I can see that you are discovering a lot of things for yourself and prefer to do everything independently – you prefer to not be carried, because you want to run and explore the world all by yourself. You like to touch and eat everything, that too, all by yourself.

For the last two weeks, you had been making it very difficult for us to feed you dinner and so, one day, I finally plonked you onto your high chair, put your food onto your plate and left. Guess what? You happily started to eat by yourself. Excited by this, I came back to feed you and you got so upset, so I let you finish your dinner on your own. This meant that you threw food all around you and I spent a few minutes cleaning up after you were done, but it was all worth it. Now, you eat your meals all by yourself, thanks to your nursery.

Since last week, you have been going to a new nursery just on Fridays, since it’s impossible for me to work from home with you around. I never felt guilty when I first left you at Smithfield back in March as I was excited to start a new adventure (at work!). But now, whenever I drop you off at your Friday nursery, I feel so guilty for leaving you there since you cry so much, and you don’t even look at me when you do and I think that makes it worse since it feels like you are clearly upset with me for leaving you. If I had to choose between you and work right now, I would choose you any day hands down but I don’t have that choice, atleast not right now.

But as always, you are making peace with how we have been treating you. Thank you. Sometimes I wish we did better as parents, because I have seen mine do better, but it’s okay. For instance, you probably had some viral infection over the last 2-3 weeks and I don’t think we even realised you were unwell because we kept thinking you were hurting from your molars beginning to pop out. I guess we are raising you the British way given that by the time you can get an appointment with the NHS, you would have kissed your sickness goodbye. In a way I don’t mind since it helps build your immunity.

There are a few other British things you seem to have picked up on your own – drinking imaginary tea from your tea cup all the time, and saying  things like “hiya”, “yeah”, etc. with an accent. You love playing with kitchen play things – I don’t blame you given that you see either appa or me in the kitchen most of your waking hours (mornings before work and evenings after work). The one cool thing that has come out of playing with kitchen things is that you have learnt to count from 1 to 10, I mean count, that too from a musical tea pot that Smitha gave you for your birthday. At first, I thought you can only say these numbers, but it’s only when I started saying ABCD and whenever I got to I, you would say 10, that I realised you have actually learnt to keep count. So, you aren’t so bad at Math, huh? Although you only like to say 2,3,5,7,8,9 and 10.

You aren’t that quiet kid who will just sit with her toys and books, you keep coming into the kitchen to pull out all the vessels and cutlery from the shelves, and you like to run away with the empty milk cans screaming “haala (milk)” repeatedly. You also love riding the buggy on wheels which we got you for your birthday and the musical walker that Sam got you for your birthday. You might be learning a few things from the walker also, who knows?! You know how to ask for milk, food and water, which is quite useful since we can use that as a cue to feed you, and be assured that you will finish what is given.

You have started to communicate just a little bit. You keep saying “yeah” at all opportune moments. You can understand what we say to you in both Kannada and English fairly well. You follow instructions like a bot – you bring things we ask you to bring, sit when told, etc. It’s quite cute. Oh, you also have the cutest sad face when we scold you for doing something naughty such as pull my hair, etc. You are appa’s pet, who brings his socks, his shoes and also yours every morning as we get ready to go to work. You also bring your jacket from the room because you love going out and you know the drill. You also wait like the dog at Shibuya station for appa coming back home and as soon as you hear the door downstairs you run to the gate at the head of the stairs to see him. You babble some gibberish as soon as you see him and it’s the cutest sight ever.

It’s not funny how quickly you are growing up – Appa and I were just watching photos and videos from the day you were born and you were sooooo tiny and quiet and now you are one big dada who demands maggi and soft drinks as if it’s your birth right. I can’t wait to take you home next month to see how you’ll react to everyone back home. You are a people lover and love socialising, so I am sure you’ll love it because everyone is waiting to see you.

More exciting stories for next month. Toodles.

 

 

 

Letters to my Berry#13

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I am a week too late, but I am glad I waited to write this. I was PMSing (something you will experience when you grow up) and so I wasn’t completely in control of my emotions to provide with you a fair report of the last one month. For starters, I yelled at you towards the end of month 13, I gave you “hatta” on your back since you wouldn’t let me work on Fridays and spent the rest of the day crying about being so mean to you. I also realised what it must have felt like for ajji when she once hit me a 7 year old for doing something stupid. Neither of us are right in what we did, but I feel a bit more empathetic towards her than I ever did. That’s the great thing about being a mum – to see what I was like as a child right in front of my eyes, and to feel what ajji felt as my mum first handed.

I saw fear in you this month, for the first time. There are these moments when I watch you and wonder if I have damaged you for good, and the next minute you just start laughing and come give me a hug and rubbish my doubts. You got three vaccines on one day, you didn’t react for the 1st one, you winced and held your pain back for the second and you only cried for 30 seconds for the last one. As I watched you, I wondered if we learn resilience that early in life because you are surely fearless, as your name suggests, my little Abheri.

You show resilience as you learn to run. A few weeks back, we were out near King’s cross in a square with little fountains and as soon as we put you down, you started walking and then running, away from us. You loved being chased by us around the square and went absolutely mental when we tried to pick you back up. You are a runner, you absolutely enjoy running in parks – we took you to Walpole park last sunday and you just kept running and falling, picking yourself up and running again. You even enjoyed playing on the swing, slide, see-saw and the little merry go round type thingie. You refused to leave the park, which means we have to live in an Ealing like neighbourhood even next year when we move. I wonder if you’ll ever get a chance to run around so freely if we went back to Bangalore?

Among the other big milestones this month, you are showing more signs of fulling understanding what we say. You do peekaboo when we ask you to, you sit when we ask you to, dance, sing, kick the ball, throw it and even say 1, 2, 3 when we ask you to, and when you are in the mood. Talking about 1,2,3 – the funniest thing about this month has to be the 5 page report we got from your daycare about your progress, which said you aren’t very strong in math and your carers plan to help you get better. Hahahaha.

You are one!!!!! I don’t care if you aren’t good at math, as long as you are eating and alive. But hey, I may not say this when you are 10, so enjoy this as long as it lasts. 5 pages, I still can’t believe they had so much to say about my little person – this is the nice thing about living in London where you have daycares that are run professionally, albeit being expensive. It makes my job of entertaining you that much harder, but I don’t mind being challenged to do better as a parent.

The one thing I still struggle to keep up with is your obsession with books. You wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is go find appa, since he is busy working away in the kitchen in the mornings, have a babbalogue with him and then come back to me to drink milk and once that’s out of the way, you hit the books. You flip pages, make strange sounds, want us to read out stuff from the same books, over and over again and you keep giggling at the animals sounds we make, over and over again. You never get bored of the repetition, it amazes me and we play along. I will get old someday and might enjoy repetition just like you do right now, but will you have the patience to indulge me?

You love the computer, kindle and phone, just like any other kid your age, thanks to us for overexposing you to gadgets. Although you surprised us by picking up the phone one day and holding it to your ear and pretended to talk to someone, because you’ve only seen us video call people and so, we didn’t know where you had learnt to make voice calls. You’d apparently picked this up at your nursery, I learnt later. It was a revelation to learn that we don’t entirely control what you learn even as a one year old, and that there are so many influences outside of home and outside of our control. It was both re-assuring and unsettling at the same time, because what if people could make you do what ever they wanted and it wasn’t necessarily in your best interest?

You are not a big fan of toys really, you prefer books, and music making toys, the piano and your tea cup, from which you keep pretending to drink out of. You even pretend to take food from our hands and pretend it. You even pick your chest and pretend to be feeding yourself milk (Lulz!), but I guess you being able to pretend and imagine things is a sign of you becoming more and more human everyday. Of course, your ability to socialise (thanks to your great grandmum’s genes) always made you more human, from a very young age and I really do hope you will use your ability to make everyone around you smile for years to come.

Ok, happy 13th month for now (you came and disturbed my flow of thoughts, so this is what you get – an abrupt ending!). Can’t wait to experience many more revelations with you. Hugs.

 

We need real’er cartoons!

Until I had Berry, I’d always tell myself that I would not resort to letting the kid watch cartoons/ videos to make him/ her eat, but then, when you actually have a kid, your priorities change. I have mostly been optimising for my time and also getting everything done, which means I have resorted to cartoons just because it means I can prepare Berry’s dinner without her being stuck to my leg like a leech. But I have been quite picky on the cartoons I let her watch since I have to like watching them too.

By that metric, Peppa Pig had been a clear winner for us. I am personally more addicted to it than Berry, who honestly couldn’t care less about it. What I love about it is how relatable it is from a kid’s perspective. Compare it to a cartoon like Popeye from my times. It was about two men being in love with one woman, and one of them popping a can of spinach to beat up the other guy to win over the woman. I mean, why would you even care about this as a 4-5 year old?! Or take Perils of Penelope Pitstop – about this dainty little car racing chick who is always putting on make-up while this shady guy (with a cute dog, Mutley) is always trying to de-rail her path while he ends up sabotaging his own life – this doesn’t even make any sense.

On the other hand, Peppa pig is all about everyday stuff. Peppa Pig has several other animal friends who are all a different shape and colour, which accurately represents life in London which is such an amalgamation of diversity. I think it’s important to see and acknowledge the difference early on, else we have difficulty appreciating diversity of thought as adults. Apart from such big learnings, there is also little stuff like understanding what parents do at work in this episode where Peppa and George go to their Daddy’s office – There’s a cat that prints shapes (read makes presentations), there’s another person that looks at “very important” number (read the finance guy) and there’s daddy pig who does some analytics. So all everyday regular stuff that makes it easier for kids to understand the present life around them.

So you can imagine why I love Peppa pig as a practical guide to growing up. But it all changed last evening when I watched the episode “Sun Sea and Snow” in which Peppa’s family is supposed to go the beach the following day. It snows all night and the whole city including their house is kind of buried in snow by the next morning, so Peppa and George go jump on Mummy and Daddy pig while they are still in bed, asking them to wake up to come see the snow. And the next scene is all 4 of them going down the stairs fully dressed.

I mean, how could they all be ready that quickly? This can’t be real life. Getting ready and stepping out of the house with little kids is like a military expedition. You can’t skip the getting ready to go out bit, just like that. I was completely thrown off by how easy they made stepping out seem.

Who was going to pack George’s diaper bag (he’s 2!!), snacks and drinks for both Peppa and George, change of clothes just in case one of them gets messy, raincoats for everyone (because it’s Britain and the weather is so erratic), sanitisers, tissues and what not. How are kids ever going to understand what it really takes to step out, so they be more helpful in getting ready? I can’t wait till Berry becomes a parent to realise this. We need some real’er cartoons!!!

Letters to my Berry#12

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Berry boo! Happy Birthday, big girl! At first, I thought this would be a 12 part series to capture the 1st one year of your life and then it would be an annual feature, except I recently learnt that babies have several milestones over the first 2 years of their lives which means I have now decided to extend it to a 24 part series. Now, does that mean I am going to be telling people your age in months despite you being over a year? No, I find that weird, although I get why people do that. So I will round down your age to the previous quarter and I hope that’s okay with you.

This has been a month of several milestones, yet again. You started walking beginning of September, all of a sudden. Appa and I were watching TV and you were standing right next to us and then suddenly you took two steps forward. I didn’t even realise but Appa was quick to notice and we were so excited for you. For a long time, people had been asking us to buy you a walker to help you start walking but we wanted you to be able to do it on your own at your own pace and so, we never bought you one (although you eventually ended up getting a walker as a birthday present from Rehaan). Your carers at the nursery also played a big role in encouraging you to continue walking every time you fell, so you wouldn’t resort to crawling as that’s obviously easier for you. Now, you love to walk and as you come closer to something you can hold on to, you try to run. It’s damn cute to watch you try to finish.

Talking about finishing, may be you are not a big fan of finishing. While feeding you dinner, you always find a way to not eat the last spoon and we want to do all sorts of drama to get you to finish. Maybe we are not instinctively designed to be finishers and probably it only comes out of practice, but this is a hard decision as a parent – should we make you a finisher or not, because being able to finish is a painfully acquired skill. While you may value this trait in the future, there is no way to know this for sure looking forward.

Personally for me, the biggest milestone of this month has to be the fact that you are able to sleep on your own. In the first half of August, you were going through a growth spurt and in the process, had ended up becoming damn clingy, would wake up several times through the night and feed constantly. I’d given into your needs 100% despite being told by a health inspector just a month before that it’s not a good idea to be feeding you through the night since your digestive system needs a break. Of course, I had my selfish reasons to do this since giving into your needs meant that you would cry less and I could lay in bed with my eyes closed through the night while you sucked endlessly.

I happened to read an article last week about how it is important for kids between 12-18 months to learn how to soothe themselves through the night and sleep well, failing which you might end up not learning this till quite late. So, last weekend, I decided to put you in your crib after dinner and let you sleep on your own. I dimmed the lights, tucked you into your blanket, left your favourite monkey with you and closed the door and left. You screamed and howled for about 5 minutes and soon after, you’d managed to fall asleep probably because you were tired and had figured you had no choice.

I felt bad as I heard you cry but I knew it was a small price I had to pay to make you learn to sleep on your own. I did this the next day as well and by the day after, you had learnt. When we put you in the crib now, you just wail a bit but hold on to your monkey and just fall asleep. Even through the night, you don’t wake up more than once or twice, but even when you do, you soothe yourself on your own and sleep back. Most of the time, we don’t try to pick you up except if you are trying to jump out of the crib and are really really upset. This has also meant that I have finally been able to rest better through the night after almost a year and a half now.

You still don’t talk much, apart from saying “amma”, “appa” or “mum-mum” but that’s not really in relation to anything specific. But you have now learnt to associate words/ sounds with their actual meaning. When I say mum-mum or ji-ji, you know I am about to feed you or give you water. When I say haala, you instinctively pull my shirt up or down (which has been a bit embarrassing on the train sometimes). You also say tuh-tuh and give a flying kiss when either you are leaving or someone else is, and you learnt this from Barbie chikki. You also know how to pick up the phone on talk on it, and apparently you learnt how to do this at the nursery, which is damn cute. While it’s interesting to see you are learning so quickly, sometimes its scary to know that we don’t have full control  of what you learn. I sound like a typical parent now, don’t it?

Anyway, you are a big girl now and I have to start embracing that you will learn lots and from everyone and everything you see around you and that’s okay. On the occasion of you turning one, we bought you a lot of presents (a house, a gaadi, a globe and some books) and a cup cake. We kept it all in the living room and so when you came from the room in the morning, you were damn excited to see all this. You slammed the cake and ate all the icing and opened all the presents. We took you to the London zoo (one of the oldest in the world) where you thoroughly enjoyed watching all the animals, especially the Indonesian monkeys and camels. Funnily enough, you got scared by goats, when we tried to make you pet them (haha!). We have recorded all this so we can show you when you grow up and laugh with you.

Talking about showing you videos, you are now able to comprehend videos and you find it so fascinating and exciting to see yourself in a video. We’ve shot videos of you watching a video, and a video of that and a video of that and so on. Yeah, we are a little bit strange like that, but guess what you just have to learn to live with that, like everything else.

Cheers to many more years of learning and discovering yourself. Remember that there are going to be several years in your life where it feels like you might be on a learning plateau but that’s only because you are not acknowledging everything you learn, and not because you aren’t learning.

Too deep for a one year old? Maybe. Haha, okay I’ll stop.

P.S – Here’s a list of presents you got for your birthday – A greeting card from your godparents, A tea party set and intelligence blocks from Avani and Advay, a walker from Rehaan, a house, a lady bug scooter, an inflatable globe and books from appa amma and lots and lots of wishes/ blessings from everyone else.

 

 

 

Adulthood, ants and social cohesion

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Ever since I moved to London, I have been spoilt with the generosity of random Londoners who smile at me as they watch me lug a little monkey on my chest. Watching babies makes people smile, and so when I catch people smiling at us, I smile back. Yesterday, while I was walking back home with Berry from Sam’s house, two women walked past me and I was all ready to smile back but they never smiled at me. It was the first time someone had not smiled at me in London, while I was carrying Berry. Then I started to wonder why this would have not been strange at all if Berry hadn’t been with me. And that, I thought was even stranger.

Why aren’t we more like ants, who greet everyone they bump into? We look at animals with love and curiosity that we don’t reserve for fellow humans. Why? Why did humans evolve in a way as to not acknowledge another person from the same species? On the one hand, people in India examine everyone that passes by from top to bottom and that’s rude. Whereas, somewhere else, people don’t even acknowledge your existence because they respect your privacy.

As a society, respecting each others’ privacy is a sign of evolution. That’s why you wouldn’t go to someone’s house unannounced in the west, whereas someone randomly turning up at your doorstep is perfectly normal in India. When you look at kids who haven’t evolved culturally/ socially, you can see that they are a lot more uninhibited and are very cognisant of others of their own species (aka other babies). It’s funny how evolution for a society means abandoning spontaneity and embracing being unnatural.

This probably also explains why some of us have difficulty making friends as adults. As adults, we are far more cautious, inhibited and judgemental, preventing us from opening ourselves to meaningful friendships. If you are able to get beyond this, it’s still not enough because the other person must be in the same place as you in order to forge a friendship. Well, this can be artificially curated by using social lubricants such as alcohol but it’s not sustainable. So how do we make way for strong meaningful friendships that last longer?

Honestly, I don’t have an answer but i have my own personal experience to share, which might give you some insight into what type of friendships live and which ones die. I have seen 2 types of friendships (oversimplifying of course) through my adultlife – one where I like to feel needed and another where someone else does.
Personally, relationships where someone else likes to feel needed works better for me – this means I can keep ranting about my life and the other person will revel in my emotional dependence on them. But too much of anything is bad and so after a while, people who like to feel needed might stop seeking validation leaving me hanging and hence, it doesn’t seem like a sustainable choice. On the other hand, if I am constantly trying to be there for someone, there’s a good chance people will bulldoze you with their needs and sooner or later, I’ll snap and stop being there for them.
Now, this is very different from how friendships are growing up where you equally share roles of being the needy and the needed. Strangely, we start becoming quite obsessed with our individual agendas as we become adults that hinder making collective progress. Suddenly becoming conscious and receptive to another person’s agenda doesn’t result in stronger friendships – unfortunately it only helps you make the transition from being needy to being needed.
I know so few people who have forged thick friendships as adults (say 30+) and that’s why I’d love to hear from someone who can critique my cynicism with real life experiences.

Letters to my Berry#11

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Happy 11th month birthday, my love! You are growing up so fast, I wish I could just hold onto you tight and the world around us could continue spinning while you and I could escape into a warp zone where time would just stand still. While I miss the littler you, I am so excited to see what’s in store for you next and more than everything else, I love the present you and I always will. I remember showing off to ajji about how I wouldn’t get attached to you as much as she got attached to me, but I might be miserably failing at that because you are that adorable and I am just mostly too scared to admit it.

Ok enough with the mush now, let’s get down to business. I just realised today that you are a master pattern recogniser. You have learnt so well and also conditioned me to provide you with anything you want just by crying. You know I have hardly any time with you outside of my work and I optimise my life to get you to bed at the earliest, and so you will not let anyone else put you to sleep except me. But guess what, I have learnt too. I love spending “quality” time with you to make sure you go to bed as early as possible because (1) that gives me time to finish off all my office work and house work and (2) you wake up less frequently through the night when you sleep early leaving me less tired in the mornings.

The one very interesting thing that happened this month is how you were so conscious of ajji thatha heading back to Bangalore that you were upset the entire day, not making much conversation (babbles of course) with them. It was so evident that you were aware of them leaving. It is strange though. It makes me wonder if you figure out based on the vibe or if you actually understand what we say. If you don’t believe me, look at that face in the picture.

Even today, you have been upset all day and I wonder if you know somehow that I will be going away to Poland for a work trip tomorrow. Seeing this really breaks my heart because I have purposely not been thinking about how you or appa will manage without me and seeing you upset makes me imagine everything that could go wrong. I have never left you overnight and I don’t know what’s going to happen especially because you are still breastfed (it’s mostly just comforted and that’s the worst part)! I tried getting you a babysitter, a Spanish one that too, but you cried your lungs out all evening till the babysitter left. Anna felt so bad for not being able to help but I can promise you she really tried but you were being damn picky. Well, if you don’t want a babysitter, so be it. We’ll just have to find a better way to make your dinner, give you a bath and play with you all at the same time. phew!

You can also stand for quite some time on your own now. You can sit chakkambatla. You can climb up and down, all over the world now. You can even comfortably climb stairs now all on your own. The one thing you still need support with is walking, which you can do just by holding one hand. We have been very conscious of not buying you a walker since I want you to pick it up naturally at your own pace. Similarly with talking, we’re letting you find your own pace. You can now say “atta” for appa and “anda” for amma and thatha for thatha, which is a great start. At least we know you can parrot speech, even if it’s in your own way.

This is not new information, but we have collected more evidence to believe that you love to sing and dance, and so, if at some point we push you to pursue any of this seriously, don’t blame us. You automatically start shaking your bum to any tune that you enjoy. I wonder if ajji thatha taught you this, since you seem to have a ritual with them even over FaceTime now. I continue to use carnatic music to distract you or quieten you down on the tube whenever you decide to make my train ride more enjoyable by screaming all the way.

You have 4 teeth now, one crooked that too. Maybe it’s like Barbie and thatha, who knows. You bite pretty hard, especially when I make you lick coffee every morning. Did I tell you already that you love coffee? Well, you do. Every time you have a little bit of it, you click your tongue in approval. In fact, one day you picked up a tumbler with 2-3 drops of coffee and downed it all by yourself. Apparently you even eat by yourself at the nursery, so you are fairly independent.

While you aren’t too much of a fussy eater, you hadn’t been putting on much weight until ajji thatha took over feeding you. Well, atleast that’s what the people at the nursery deduced. I try my best ok, but sometimes there are days like today, when I have a ton of office work to complete, make dinner for appa and me, make dinner for you, prep for the next day’s breakfast and dinner (while carrying you), give you a bath, feed you, take care of a sick husband, clean up the kitchen after and pack for the Poland trip, that I don’t go overboard trying to force feed you. I let you play with water in the kitchen sink while I fed you but you seemed to not want to eat today (usually this trick works) and then I just gave up, breast fed you and put you to bed. Now does this make me a horrible mum? Maybe. But I think making time to write this for you on time more than makes up for it, doesn’t it? 🙂

Well, I’ll let you be the judge. For now, just enjoy being 11 months old and still having your way around everything at home. Muahh!